Troll Marketing

I’ve recently developed this thing called Troll Marketing. This is how you do it.

My wife’s brother was in town a few weeks back. I live in New York City and a popular thing for tourists to do when they come here is to go to this burger place called Shake Shack.

I know this because when I first came here I went to Shake Shack. I went because my wife wanted to go. She wanted to go because one of her friends who visited New York before us told her we had to go to Shake Shack.

The food and drinks at Shake Shack are kind of what you expect. Greasy burgers, french fries and heavy milkshakes. Heart attack fast food.

I remember as a kid being on a beach and seeing a team of Pepsi salespeople doing the Pepsi vs. Coke blind taste test. I didn’t get to do the test myself but I witnessed a lot of people getting fooled. This was a profound moment in my life.

After trying Shake Shack that first time I had no inclination to eat it again. I enjoyed my food and milkshake but to me it was just like McDonalds except nearly double the price. The difference between the two was marketing.

So when my bro-in-law was in town I returned to Shake Shack for the first time in four years. As usual, the line out the front was huge.

Slowly we made our way closer to the front. This is when the troll in me made an appearance.

“You know Shake Shack’s pretty good but I really prefer McDonalds.”

I spoke as loudly as possible. I pretended to speak to my wife and her brother but my intended audience was in fact the masses of hungry tourists that surrounded me.

“There’s just something about a classic Big Mac and fries. It’s the same every time but that’s why it’s just so damn good!”

I honestly think McDonalds and Burger King should employ people like me to enact this direct troll marketing. It will help squash trendy competitors like Shake Shack.

That day my Shake Shack tasted amazing. The food and shake was great but the fact I potentially ruined the experience for a bunch of tourists really took it to the next level.

Are you someone who gets excited about new shit that’s essentially the same as old shit? If so, watch out for trolls like me.

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