Boring Acquaintance

We’ve all been to a birthday party two years in a row and run into the same boring person.

You remember meeting them the first time. They were so incredibly dull that you hoped to never see them again. But a year on you see them again in the exact same place.

Because of Facebook you can keep tabs on these boring people. You notice them in photos with your mutual friend.

In the past I’ve purposefully avoided parties when I knew for a fact one of these boring acquaintances would be in attendance.

Other times I’ve tried to convince myself that they might have become more interesting or that maybe the first interaction was just an unfortunate accident. A true Lemony Snicket.

This mentality always leads to disaster. As soon as you see them at the party your heart sinks. You realize instantly “People don’t change maaaaaaaaaan”.

You say hello. You pretend to be interested in what they’ve been up. You make your excuses and get the fuck away from them so you don’t catch the boring disease.

Moments like these fuel my social anxiety. I feel angry at the mutual friend for keeping such a dull person in their life. I don’t want them to stop being friends: I just want them to stop inviting the boring acquaintance to events that I’ll be showing my face at.

We like to think of ourselves as free spirits who spend our lives fulfilling our wanderlust. But in reality we’re just pattern-seeking victims of circumstance with social amnesia.

Next time you run into a boring acquaintance at a party I dare you to be honest. Get drunk and tell them how you really feel. Ask them what they think of you.

Let me know how it goes.

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